Looking back on 2019

It's been almost four years since I last took the JLPT exam in Korea for N3. I still clearly remember the days I prepared for that exam since I was cramming with the one-month preparation, which is a bad habit for a language exam or language learning. It was possible because I already knew the primary Japanese characters, kanjis, and grammar, and the criteria for passing the exam were low. I passed the exam but couldn't remember most of the content I learned during the prep, so the score and certificate were meaningless.

If I repeat that habit for the N2, I might pass the exam this time, but it can also be pointless. I cannot dare compare my situation to Neo from The Matrix for the blue and red pill, but I chose not to repeat that. I can use this as an excuse for not passing the exam this time, but I want to spend more time enjoying the language itself. Looking back to my past, like ordinary Korean people, I already sacrificed my joy of learning English in exchange for the exams, so learning Japanese has been my secret exit for hiding that joy somewhere.

I met international friends from various countries while attending the Japanese classes during the weekend. They can all speak Japanese fluently because they need to survive daily at work. Even though they have a limited vocabulary, they can express their thoughts clearly. That is what language is for. They're using the tool with the proper purpose. They already have the essential tool, so the next step is to keep sharpening it until they are satisfied with their levels of skills in each area, such as vocabulary or grammar.

Unfortunately, many Korean students who get public education don't have that luxury because of the limited support and budget to hire native teachers who can be their conversation partners. In my high school, we had only one teacher from America (and I met him again when I was a part-time reviewer for the TOEFL materials at one of the largest English institutions in Korea. Elementary school kids were already preparing for the TOEFL.) We just kept learning English for the exams. In contrast, for geographic and linguistic reasons, learning Japanese in a fun way is way more possible than English. It is like rinsing out that traumatic experience from the past.